Vineyard Picnics For Dummies

Vineyard Picnics For Dummies

Bored of sitting in a parking lot with your friends? Try this instead!

Living in a small town, there is a VERY limited number of things to do (some of my personal favorites include neighborhood drive-by’s and prostitute hunting). However, the pandemic has temporarily put my enjoyment of these activities on hold, forcing me to get creative on how I should spend time with the five people from high school that don’t hate me (kidding, but like not really). This is how I came to discover my love of picnics.

If you are anything like me and are not trying to pay $12 for an Aperol Spritz on the Johnny Rocco’s patio, then this is the perfect alternative for you. It’s cheap, fun, and abides by social distancing guidelines (we LOVE a public health queen!)

What you’ll need:

  • A blanket
  • Your favorite snacks (I enjoy bringing Stacy’s pita chips, guac, grapes and cheese)
  • An alcoholic beverage of your choice
  • A speaker
  • BOTTLE OPENER (I cannot stress enough how hard it is to try and open a bottle of wine with a fork)

Disclaimer: I do in fact realize how cringe it is that I am drinking Girls Night Out, but you’re lying to yourself if you don’t think it tastes good

To start, you are going to want to find an open field. If you are from the Niagara Region I would recommend checking out Ravine or Two Sisters’ Winery. Once you’ve found a spot that you are happy with, you are going to want to set up your blanket and pull out your food. While it is tempting to set up your cheese, crackers, and fruit in an attempt to make an Instagram-worthy charcuterie board, I advise against doing that unless you are trying to get attacked by ants and mosquitos. Instead, keep all food in its original packaging or wrapper and use a knife to cut small pieces at a time.

PRO TIP: plan ahead and set your picnic up for around 8pm for the added bonus of watching the sunset (just don’t be that person who puts the sunset on their snapchat story because I promise you nobody cares)

You are now officially all set! Happy picnicking, and you can thank us later for all of the money that you have saved on watered down drinks from the patios this summer 🙂

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